Isle of Ikea, Sunday Evening

[arboreal_priestess]

"So we're not leaving without getting a bed and some meatballs. Everything else is optional, but definitely those two things."

Verity had been threatening to drag Liam to Ikea ever since the giant snowstorm and she'd seen the empty expanse he called a bedroom. Honestly, Liam? A chair? If their physical relationship ever moved past the whole 'glowing cloud of purple light' thing, Verity figured they'd sometimes want a place to retreat to where they didn't have to negotiate with mice for a bit of privacy.

Which they couldn't do with just a chair.

"Also, considering the size of the store, maybe we should have brought along a couple of guide ropes and maybe a GPS," she added as the doors opened and she took in the sheer size of the store. Though maybe having the entire island being named for it should have given her a clue. "Uhhh...excelsior?"

[For the guy!]

Comments

[arboreal_priestess]

Verity would yuck all the yums she wanted, starting with that phrase, dammit.

"Or nobody does and it's been here so long the rot wasn't part of the original frame," she suggested.

[firstofitskind]

"Both equally likely, here in the nexus of all possible Ikeas," Liam said with a snicker.

[arboreal_priestess]

"Still, I'm heartened by how it seems like we're heading into ugly-but-normal," Verity said, pointing at a bed that had been decorated by plywood

[firstofitskind]

"Again with the 'repurposed' look," Liam said, shaking his head. "Although this one looks kind of like someone tore down a house and then used the lumber to make a bed frame."

"That one's not bad," he mused. Still wood, but less of a 'salvaged from the junk pile' aesthetic.

[arboreal_priestess]

"Definitely something I'd expect from Ikea," Verity agreed, nodding. "Still more 'just out of college and this is better than a mattress on the floor' than I'd like, but definitely better."

[firstofitskind]

"What are your thoughts on Victorian-era hospital?"

[arboreal_priestess]

"Surprisingly not positive," Verity said, looking at that one and shuddering. "That's the kind of bed they used when they locked a married couple in the haunted sanitarium or something."

"How about that one?" she suggested. "Continuing the wood theme from earlier but without the West Virginia Woodchipper Murderfest vibe and wrought iron without all that terrifying evil asylum feel!"

[firstofitskind]

"Would I have to get a bird?" Liam wondered, glancing up at the top of the bedposts. "I mean, since it comes with a bed for one as well."

[arboreal_priestess]

"I'm sure I could find a harpy fledgling instead," Verity said sweetly.

[firstofitskind]

"Pass," Liam said immediately, swatting at Verity's shoulder.

[arboreal_priestess]

"You are just no fun," Verity informed him, her nose in the air. "No cool futuristic space beds for you, then."

[firstofitskind]

"Really?" Liam said. "Because I kind of like that one, actually." He wasn't even kidding! It matched the chair!

[arboreal_priestess]

Of course he did. It was a futuristic space bed.

"It needs pillows," Verity said, actually considering it, rather than just using it as the butt of a joke. "And real blankets. And if it comes with more buttons than my TV remote and a users' manual, we're putting it back."

[firstofitskind]

"... Why would it have buttons?" Liam tilted his head quizzically at Verity.

Look, everything in his reality was touchscreens and gesture-controls. Buttons? Pfft.

[arboreal_priestess]

"To make it vibrate and heat and whatever else it probably does?" Verity suggested. "I'm sure has a hundred gizmos--that's not exactly the question you were asking, was it?"

[firstofitskind]

"Not quite," Liam admitted, looking a little sheepish. "I'm used to things being more..." he made a vague hand-waving motion. The kind that would turn things on or off were he someplace with electronics that behaved the way he was used to.

[arboreal_priestess]

"Handwavy?" Verity asked because I think I am hilarious.

[firstofitskind]

"I mean, yes? I guess that's as good a word as any?" Liam said, innocently unaware of any connotations that particular term had.

[arboreal_priestess]

"Is this related to how you pretty much drove your ship with a couple of gestures?" Verity asked, slowly putting the pieces together.

[firstofitskind]

Liam opened his mouth to protest that it was more than a couple, it was a system- and then stopped himself.

"Yeah," he admitted. "Gesture-based controls."

[arboreal_priestess]

Uh-huh. Sure friend. Verity was pretty sure he'd given the controls a thumb's up and an arpeggio on an air-piano.

"Well, we poor souls from the early twenty-first century have to make due with buttons," she said, with a sigh to let him know how truly wretched it was.

[firstofitskind]

Truly, so terrible!

Except...

"Um," Liam said slowly. "I'm not... from the future or anything." It was the same year here as it was back in his reality!

It's just that his canon had late-90s ideas of what 20 years in the future would be like, okay.

[arboreal_priestess]

Bet they hadn't guessed there'd be so many Nazis!

"Really?" Verity asked, frowning. "Huh. I...don't think I knew that." Or if she had, she'd completely forgotten because of the whole 'working ship that teleported through space when you high-fived the controls.'

[firstofitskind]

"Oh," Liam said sheepishly. "Well, uh. Yeah. The Taelons 'officially' arrived in 2008, and that's probably really the major diverging point between my reality's history and what you'd be familiar with."

Yes, ten years ago was 'history'. Shh.

[arboreal_priestess]

"Huh," Verity said thoughtfully, shaking her head. "I always just assumed yout were from, like, 2299 or something with all that tech."

Well, now she felt sheepish.

[I never saw this! I'm sorry!]